Monthly Archives: May 2013

Your mission should you choose to accept it

And you will….well okay you don’t have to but…..

Here is the mission for today, do something you have been meaning to do, talk to someone you never have before or you would like to again, smile at a stranger, hell hug a stranger do something outside the box, outside the comfort zone, just get out there and do it.

That is all.

Inspiration from all corners

So I was singing a little song that I’ve loved since I was a child. I’m not sure why I like it so much but I do, and it’s probably the main reason that I first liked Hudson Hawk. The song is ‘Swinging on a Star’ performed by Frank Sinatra.

So I was singing it as I tidied up some dishes and this character of Aster came to life in my head (Because clearly I need more). I don’t know if much will come of her, Sam has suggested a tie in to one of her characters who features in one of the Shadows of Avalon stories, and I quite like that idea. But we shall see, for now she’s given me a little hello and I thought I’d share it with you.


“Would you like to swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar, and be better off than you are, or would you rather be a fish.” Aster sat on a rock looking over the beach as she sang. She had always loved this song, Frankie had sung it to her when she had been a child, he’d sung it when he’d been sent down to the world. He wasn’t still here, but now she was. Her father had told her that they had no need for her any longer. She had been the one to carry the moonbeams, and shift the stars. There were a lot of them who did, but no longer. Only two were needed now to bring the magic of the moonbeams down from the heavens and wash them over those who believed and who needed that touch of magic. So few believed now in magic, and for it Aster had been cast down to earth to see if she could bring magic back into the hearts of man and earn her job once more.

She looked up at the sky and watched a star shoot across the sky, that too had been her job, hardly anyone ever even wished on the first star or the shooting star now, even children didn’t believe in the power of magic.

Aster was no stranger to this world, it was not hard to fit in, she had a home all the things she needed, her father gifting her much gold which had given her a healthy bank account. He had seemed sad as he had said farewell to his youngest daughter and sent her down to the world. So living here was no terrible thing, though Aster did miss her family and friends, her greatest concern was how she could bring people back to magic, to a world that they had to believe to see, to seeing wonder in the mundane and looking for miracles and magic all around them.

The world had changed but Aster needed to do this, to lose her job was one thing, but if the world ceased to believe, they would cease to exist all together.



Empathy, magic wands and rambling

I’ve seen a lot of people hurting lately, from little things and upsets, to life adjusting pain and sadness. It aches my heart to not be able to help the people who seem to need it, to heal their hearts or bodies, to bring them the happiness that they deserve. One of my main characters, Jaidee, is an empathy and she is that because that’s what I’ve been told I am since I was a child. Sometimes it’s not that good for me when I take on other people’s emotions and pain and feel them myself, but it helps me understand others, it helps me feel for them and connect.

But man oh man, do I wish it came with a magic wand. I want to wave that wand and heal the world. I want to heal my friends, my loved ones of pain and stress, and also use the wand to bop some people on the head who are causing others to be hurting or suffer. But I can’t and it leaves me feeling helpless, and sometimes leads me to withdrawing, especially when I can’t seem to even deal with my own feelings and I don’t want to bring them to other people, or get to the point where I think others even want to know.

Feelings. They’re annoying and complicated sometimes.

Where is that magic wand already?

Here have a hug.

Feeling like Belle

I saw Star Trek last night…and yes it was epic and amazing but this post isn’t about reviewing the moving, just a lead in. Because of that I had epic Star Fleet related dreams. I’ve woken with this desire for more epic in my life and less of the mundane.

But how?

Honestly I have no idea. Sam and I were talking about it and we want to be like Rachel Weisz in Bourne Identity. Soft enough to need rescuing but strong enough to be the rescuer too.

I want to have some of the epic adventures we write about. (Clearly not all…especially given how dark things get at times, and the grief I put my characters through at times). I want to be like Rachel, exploring ancient sites with her son and her man at her side (though I would like to avoid being fatally wounded o.o), be righting wrongs, protecting innocents, exploring the line between myth and reality like Lars, Steve, Riz, Crae and all the rest of those kids, to meet Gods and save the world like Els and all the immortals…okay that one is less likely to actually happen but you get the idea. I want to live a life of adventure but how do we do that in this day in age when life so often is day in and day out and is just the grind of modern living, working, having a family, having fun times and being well loved but lacking that spark that we see in the movies and read in books. I know some might say I’m crazy for even thinking it is possible but it is, you see people living exciting lives, and that is what I crave, that is what I will have and not just through what I write. I want to explore the world and see the places of history, feel the energies of these ancient sites, feel the spirit of ancient woods and see if I can glimpse a Mythago hiding in amongst the trees. I want to meet the people that inspire me, I want to meet the people I inspire, I want to live my life to the fullest, and money has always been the thing holding me back. Honestly, money is still the thing holding me back but I am going to change that, still part of me thinks the adventure should start before the money, because that might just be part of the adventure. Where does the future lie? How do I get there? What am I meant to be doing?

I’m not sure, but I want to know.

So to sum up, currently I’m Belle at the beginning of Beauty and the Beast, only I’m just needing the adventure not to find my beast, or my cute little teacup.

And yes, dammit man, I’m breaking into epic song right now.

Friends, weirdos and imaginary characters, lend me your giggles.

There are a few things that make a day start good. One is realising that it isn’t Thursday, it is in fact Friday and I’m seeing the new Star Trek movie tonight. Another is having a very cute little monster crawl into bed and tell you how much he loves you and likes having you for his Mum. Another is friends that have you giggling and being a weird before you’ve even had breakfast.

Now I know people that argue that internet friends are not real friends and to them I say…I bite my thumb at you sir.

I have awesome, funny, clever, caring friends online, some of my closest friends are ones that have never sat in my lounge and giggled with me or gone window shopping with all the money we don’t have, all the normal kinds of things that friends do, but they have done the things that all friends should do. They have shared good times and bad with me, they have made me giggle, they have shared my pain and I’ve shared theirs. My Sam is an “internet friend” and it means nothing since distant hasn’t kept her from living half the time in the strange place I call a brain. Or what we refer to as the cosy brainspace.

Distance means nothing, internet means nothing, you can still have a connection as strong as if they lived across town. I will not accept the concept that internet friends aren’t real.

However I am open to discussion about my mental stability for being friends with imaginary characters and having been adopted by a killer vampire. There I might be willing to admit that I have some issues. Not that I plan on changing mind you, I know some amazing characters.

*Wanders off singing “My bestie lies over the ocean, my bestie lives over the sea, my besties lies over the ocean oh kidnap and bring her to meeeeeeeeeeeeee”*