What am I aiming for?
I find I am the girl who wants it all, and I think that leaves me fumbling and lost. I want the amazing tree house in the forest, the natural life, the garden and the forest friends. I want the city life, I want the convenience, I want the prestige, I want the neighborhood that others dream of, I want the grass that get pimped. (I still don’t even understand that but I want it).
I want to write and be paid for it, I want to be a successful best seller. I want books that move people and inspire them. I want to make people dream of being more than they are, I want people to get lost in the worlds I create and miss the friends they made when the story finishes.
I want to be discovered, not work hard to make them notice me.
I want to dance.
I want to inspire.
I want to help heal the world. I want to speak to every person who struggles thinking they are not enough and I want to help them see they are. I want to do that because most days I forget that I am worth it and how wonderful I am. I understand and because of it I can see the worth in others when they have lost that themselves.
I want to help heal every person who has been hurt my another.
I want to turn society upside down so we see that it doesn’t make a blind bit of fucking difference what body parts we have, what color those parts happen to be, it doesn’t matter how we worship or if we worship. What matters is we act with love, we don’t hurt anyone else, we strive to make the world better, to make ourselves better. WE DO NOT HURT ANYONE ELSE.
Honestly that one shouldn’t be hard to get across but it is.
I want to be a force for the women out there that are struggling. Struggling with self worth and body image, with their place in society.
I want to run dance classes, not to teach people how to dance as much as to teach them to know their body and be comfortable in it, to be comfortable dancing for themselves or for others.
I have so many things I want to do and then I also want to hide away in my house and see no one and do nothing and just watch movies and read books and fade from the memory of others. Some days I think I’m two steps along in that desire.
I am left not knowing which direction I should go in. Which thing I should pursue. How do I know what I can achieve? How do I know which is for me? Can I do them all? Am I worthy of these pursuits?
I don’t know.
I want it all and I want it now.
And a minion. I want a minion