Tag Archives: friendship

Waiting for a Friend – A poem

I wrote this a few weeks ago but it seemed fitting to share it again. Some people touch our lives and they never know it. Some people are important and loved and we never tell them. So here is a mission for today. Tell someone they matter to you. Show someone that you are their friend. Pick a bunch of people and tell them you’re so glad they’re here.

Waiting for a Friend

I see her sitting on the bench
She holds a book in her hand but her eyes are on the path
She’s waiting for a friend
She’s there again. Alone on the bench
Her phone in her hand as she pretends her eyes are not on the path
She’s waiting for a friend
Days go by and people walk by
She’s still waiting for a friend
Smiles are exchanged. Hands move in greeting.
But she’s still sitting there alone
Waiting for a friend
A new hat. A new hair do. A pretty new scarf
The leaves redden and fall
She’s still on the bench pretending her eyes are not on the world
Waiting for a friend
Dogs bark and earn fusses
Smiles are exchanged. A half wave in farewell
She remains there alone
Waiting for a friend
Everyone knows her. Everyone sees her
Maybe they like her
But you could not tell as she sits there alone
Waiting for a friend
Maybe I should do something but I’m too scared to move
From my spot
On my bench
All alone
Waiting for a friend.

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Lyric Warm-Up Writing Day 12 -The moon only shines with the help of the sun

12

Today I’m not sure who the character is but this song by Karmina, that I absolutely love, moved me to a bittersweet little tale. I am sure many of us feel this way but there is always someone there to take our hand, to help us shine. And if you know someone who you think needs their hand taken, offer yours, sometimes we need it.

The Moon Only Shines With the Help of the Sun

“You do not have to do this alone.”

“I know, I just do not want to burden or upset anyone.”

“So, you burden and upset yourself.”

“I find it’s better that way.”

She sat cross-legged in the middle of the lawn. There was no one nearby but she was not alone. She had been in meditation for ten minutes, and her spirit sat in the stone room in the city at the top of the tree.

Things had gotten hard, and for too long she had put off meditating, put off coming here, wallowing instead in all the hurts and emotions. Real or simply perceived. She knew that coming here would not allow her to hide from anything. Her guides were nothing if not honest with her.

“Better how?”

“It is better to not let a friend know how much they are hurting you and keep them, then open your mouth and lose them. It is better to take your friend’s burden than give them your own and it be more than they’re willing to bear.”

“A friend who hurts you more than they love you and who gives without taking or sharing is no true friend, wouldn’t you say?”

“They all just have so much going on.”

“It is good to defend our friends, and it is good to have friendship but do you think this cost is worth it?”

“So, I should just cut my losses and go it alone?”

She had been dreading hearing these words, the loneliness was almost crippling to her already, and that was with friendship.

“Did I say that?”

“Basically.”

“No, I am asking you to look at your choices. If these people are true friends, then you do them a disservice to treat them as though they are fickle friends fostering a toxic relationship. If the friendship has turned sour, then you do yourself a disservice to cling to it and continually suffer. So, which is it?”

“I…” She paused and tears formed in her eyes. “I do not know anymore. I know what I want, I know how it feels sometimes. I know how it feels other times. I am confused.”

“And yet, you leave yourself confused and do not speak to them.”

She hung her head. More tears welled up and a few rolled down her cheeks. She did not speak to them because she was terrified of the outcome. She needed her friends and did not want to discover she was not needed. She loved her friends and did not want to know that they did not, could not, love her. She did not want to be told that she had failed at being their friend. Because that was something she feared, that this distance that had grown up was her fault because it kept happening. Was she a bad friend?

Was she just pushing everyone away as she tried to face everything alone and not be a burden on anyone?

“You do not have to be alone in all your burdens and I think you will find that you are not.”

“But…”

“There are no buts. You cannot do this alone and you cannot continue torturing yourself this way. You dim your light each day that you do not let it shine. It pains me to see you cry each day when you can change this.”

“But…”

“No, enough.” He held up his hand. “You are loved. There are those that love you, and those that use you. Find out who is who and let those who love you do so. Honour them. Love them. Trust them. You do not have to take this journey alone. You never had to. And we are here, as well.”

“Thank you.”

Her tears flowed down her cheeks. She felt shame and she felt hope. She felt fear.

“Come, I’ll walk you home.” He stood and offered his arm.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You never do. And then you do it. Be strong, sweet daughter of our hearts. You are more loved than you know. And stronger than you see.”

He walked her to the tree and she closed her eyes. The tree became a cavern leading her back toward the light and she took herself back to her body. She opened her eyes, her cheeks were wet with tears.

She knew what she needed to do but the question remained; could she do it? She was never good at this. But she knew where to start. Maybe it was time to share her burden with someone else, someone who always seemed there and someone she had never truly let in because of her fear. She did not have to be alone through all of this.

She just needed to reach out and trust that someone would take her hand.

She had no idea how many people were waiting to do just that.

Fakers to the left

I’ve been thinking a bit about friendship and the people we have in our lives. While I agree that the internet has made for amazing friendships I think it’s also made for even more fair weather friends. You know the kind…the ones that love you to death while you’re giving them attention, while you’re there to listen to their life story, make them feel good about themselves, but that ditch you the moment they have the attention of someone “better” or just go quiet when you need them, when you need to be lifted up or given a shoulder and a calming word.

I’ve seen it a lot lately, the people who make someone else feel like shit because they’ve just ignored their “friends” pain, the ones who make someone else feel crappy because they can’t give them the time of day and reply to their contact but can post up on facebook. The arrival of such things as facebook messages telling you when someone saw the message but then no reply comes…I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve seen upset because of that.

It leads me to wonder if we are putting too much energy into people who simply don’t deserve us.

If you can’t treat me with the same level of interest and love as I show you, why should I bother?

If you can’t reply to my message, email, @, text, IM, but you can post up which celebrity fantasy creature’s uncle you are, why should I bother?

If you ditch me for the next pretty face, handsome face that pays you attention and leave me to deal with my problems without a comforting word or thought, why should I bother?

If you backstab, gossip or do other disloyal things, why should I bother?

Why do we bother? Why do we care what people like this think? Why do we give them our best to get little in return?

And what about the people who give us the things we need, who are the friends we desire and deserve, what of them while we give others our time and end up turning to them to bitch about the losers, the disloyal, the assholes, how does that make them feel?

Friendship is an important thing, we all need it, so maybe we should cherish the ones who raise us up, maybe we stop putting so much time and effort into the ones who aren’t actually true and real friends.

Because

At the end of the day

They don’t deserve us. Just think how much happier we’ll be if we put that effort and attention to where it belongs. Hold high those who hold you up, and let the others know where the door is…

How about we raise each other up?

I think there is something very wrong in society most days. I see so many people trying to hurt others, emotionally more than physically. It’s the little thing, the people online who troll to start arguments, to upset people, the people who bully, all the way through to friends who do things to hurt other friends. I keep seeing this over and over again, people who say they are friends with someone and then they backstab them. I’ve had it myself, we all have.

There are a lot of people out there who seem to feel so bad about themselves that they think the only way to feel better is to make other people feel bad. I’ve consoled so many people over the years because of it. I’ve had it done to me. I had one girl who I considered to be one of my best friends and she burned me so bad because she wanted to feel better about herself, she then turned even more poisonous when I wouldn’t let that behaviour stand. She actually told people she hoped someone would slit my throat or I’d kill myself.

Wow. How is that talk ever acceptable? How is it healthy? Why are so many filled with so much hate and this need to spread negative feelings?

I’m over it. I am so done with seeing people suffering because of petty people who should be more worried about improving themselves, about find good things to make them happy. There is no need to be lashing out, hurting others, being mean, lying, or anything.

There is a meme going around about how you know the good women in the world, they’re the ones trying to raise their friends up not tear them down. It’s not just women, it’s men too. How about today you try to raise your friends up, make their lives better, be nice to complete strangers, how about today we try to be a positive influence, it might make us all feel better.

A reason, a season, a ramble

Sometimes it’s hard to know who is a reason, a season, a lesson or a blessing. Sometimes it’s hard to know when to let go. Sometimes it still hurts after you do, as freeing and positive as it might be. Even the toxic people can touch our heart and it’s okay to give ourselves permission to miss them. It’s okay to take time to get over their loss, even if you were the one who pushed them away or threw them out the metaphorical window. (The cops tend to frown on throwing them out the real ones.)
It’s hard to do the right thing and take those people out of our lives, especially when there was fun and there were good times, but we owe it to ourselves to be healthy, to do the healthy thing for ourselves and those around us. We deserve better than to be hurt or poisoned by those who are toxic and/or happen to be garden variety psychopaths or sociopaths.  Sometimes it’s hard to see people for what they really are..
I’m rambling again. So instead of me rehashing again let us raise our glasses (real or metaphorical) and say good riddance to bad news. I’ll drink to that.