Tag Archives: life

The Big Elephant in the Room

So, Lisa O’Neill talked about Big Elephants at her talk and I’ve just read that part of ‘Juggling in High Heels’ today. Big elephants are the ones who guide us, teach us, support us, mentor us. I had some wonderful Big Elephants growing up in some family members and some teachers. (I had heaps of people who could have been wonderful elephants but ended up just being shit machines. A certain school springs to mind, but anywho…)
Now that I am grown I need and want new Big Elephants and I struggle to find them.
I thought I had found a wonderful Big Elephant in the writing world. Someone years ahead of me with much knowledge to share and help to give, and we seemed to get on so great. Unfortunately, I chose wrong and the helping hands just dropped me. She had no real interest in helping or supporting me, she gave great lip service but actions spoke louder than words and I let go to look elsewhere.
There are heaps of people I’ve found online with so much knowledge to share and I learn so much. But I long for a personal connection, and I’m struggling to make it. I don’t know if it’s an unrealistic desire or something to do with me, but I want it. I long for a Big Elephant to guide me, support me, mentor me but most of all to care about me and want my success.
I have chosen to pursue dreams that are not the easiest in the world. Every George and his Shep wants to be published, wants fame, fortune, and recognition. And living in a small town in a beautiful small country does make the slog even harder. But I am not giving up. This is my dream and, obstacles or not, I am going to make it happen.
And I would love a Big Elephant in front of me to help guide me along and help bring me to independence so I can become the Big Elephant for others.
And I really long for that too. To be a positive force in someone else’s life and help them find their greatness and their dream. Well, such a thing would be a dream in itself.
So. If you are a Big Elephant who likes the look of this little elephant, please cross my path. I am officially asking the universe for an elephant.

In cold and cloud
I speak aloud
These fair words of desire
I seek aid and guidance this day
Someone to help me find my way
A guiding force to help me soar higher
I ask for this without demand
I ask for this with open hand
Willing and ready to do what I require
Help me to achieve what I desire

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Way of the Wiccad Week 1

I know I said I’d do a post each week to share what happened on Facebook with my daily Way of the Wiccad posts. I warn you now, it’s going to be quite a long post each week. It was a busy week. So without further ado, the previous week as I tried to find my Wiccad Way.

(P.S. after reading this, would you prefer it in weekly instalments or daily?)

Day 2

Day 2 has gone pretty awesomely I must say. If Day 1 was about getting active and taking action, then Day 2 has been about looking inward and taking some time to be still. I meditated this morning. I have great plans to meditate daily or at least multiple times a week and it usually ends up being monthly or worse. Whoops, my bad.
One of the things that will make me the happy best person I can be is to embrace my spirituality and nurture it. You know, actually make time for it and all the comes with it. I generally am not overly vocal about my faith as people can be cruel and unforgiving, but that is changing. I already have another little post started about my faith but that will come another day when it’s actually finished. That usually helps…
So yes, I started the work day with meditating and it was amazing. I always learn valuable lessons through meditation. Like I have the power to light up my world. And it is totally okay for me to Shine.
Then I did a few jobs I needed to get done on the admin side of The Princess Bard and then I rewarded myself with leftover cottage fries for brunch and finishing ‘Death on the Nile’. If you’ve never read or watched an Agatha Christie mystery you might want to get on with it. For once I deduced the correct murderer. Yay me.
And after sitting there digesting that for a while I worked out another little plot point for Faeted Tales and spent a half hour plotting which led to over an hour researching. The main topic of research were the many, many instances of witch trials. (And can I say it was quite upsetting at times, especially given the fact that humanity ain’t evolved that much when it comes to this kind of hateful behaviour.)
I feel really good again today. Even with some indigestion after too many mandarins for afternoon tea. So, I need to try and make meditation a regular thing in my life because it makes me feel so good.
How has your day gone? Or yesterday if you’re just reading this after waking up… What did you do to be still and let everything else go for that moment?
Whatever you did or didn’t do today, I hope you had a happy moment. And if you didn’t, hugs are available.
Until next time, same bat channel…
Be stellar. Be faebulous. Be Wiccad. I love you!

Day Three

I nearly wrote day four, I’m getting ahead of myself. As I curl up to watch The Mummy with a happy tummy full of homemade stew we made tonight, I think today has been a mixed day.
I’ve had moments of intense productivity. I’ve designed Wiccad things that will be stickers, could be on coffee mugs or T-Shirts. I’ve sorted my Instagram account out. I made a card, did dishes, and crossed twelve things off today’s To-do list. I always watched Arrow and The Flash from last week. So, I guess that’s all about balance.
Today hasn’t been such a happy day. Something annoyed me and hurt my feelings a bit and I let it fester. After a good rant to the hubby I feel better. At least I know I’m not crazy in my expectations but it has highlighted that I don’t often communicate when I’m scared of upsetting someone, even if they are upsetting me. So maybe I need to work on that. Being subtle or dancing around a subject doesn’t get you anywhere. But, you know, it can be really scary to tell someone they’re being a jerk and you’d like them to change. Most people don’t take kindly to any kind of criticism. I probably don’t.
I haven’t gotten Briar’s post finished yet. I’m three notebook pages in (about 1500 words or so) and it is a scary scene. Muse is being a bit shy about it and I’ve been letting her. Maybe I can get out some words while I watch my Evy. I do love her. I wanted to watch something tonight with a heroine I look up to. Evy is definitely one. To be honest, I’ve watched so many of my kick ass chicky-babe movies so often that I need to take a break. I need more movies with amazing women. Any suggestions would be welcome!
What movies do you watch when you want to feel powerful and inspired?
Well, Evy just totalled the library so I should go and watch the movie.
Be stellar. Be faebulous. Be Wiccad. I love you!

Day Four

It is Day 4 isn’t it? It’s been one of those days…
Things didn’t go exactly to plan today. My to-do list was huge, the spirit was willing. The body wanted a heat pack and copious amounts of chocolate. (I might have eaten 2 chocolate mudcake cupcakes, they were small but when the body is demanding one must answer or I would have devoured half of the pantry. Or at least the block of Whittakers coconut chocolate in the fridge.)
The big happy of the day was I FINISHED PART 4 OF THE BLOODIED BRIAR. Man, it’s been an effort. It was all meant to be Part 3 but after 2629 words I found a place to break and that became Part 3 and now I’ve written Part 4 which is 9 pages of my notebook…the other parts were 4 or 5. So this is massive. And it was a bit of an emotional experience to write. I was literally crying as I was writing this afternoon. I apologise in advance when this hits you in the feels.
Hopefully I’ll have this edited and up on the weekend. (I still have to finish typing it up before I can get to the editing.)
So, my lesson of the day was that sometimes it’s okay to let the to-do list and expectations, go and be nice to yourself. I would have stressed and upset myself if I had put the pressure on me to get everything done. My body needed to rest, and I needed to get through the cramps of doom. And I did. Yay chocolate and watching Atlantis. (If you don’t think that’s a great Disney movies, well, you’re wrong. And that is one I wouldn’t actually mind seeing made live action. And if they need cast ideas, Tumblr has them covered.)
What did you do today that helped keep you sane? I’d love to hear about your day, as always.
But, now it’s time to go and watch a movie, and perhaps be a total glutton and have another cupcake (treadmill or yoga tomorrow most definitely).
Until next time.
Be stellar. Be faebulous. Be Wiccad. I love you.

Day Five

Day 5…started in a bad place. Well it started in a good place, bed, unfortunately my body decided last night wasn’t one of those nights for sleeping. I admit I was in a weird place going to bed, we’d watch Chris Cornell related videos for a while, for obvious reasons and then other rock videos. I went to bed wishing I had the ability to stay up to 3am listening to music and having deep and amazing conversations. So, I guess my body went “Oh, you want a lack of sleep? We can totally do that!”

So, I started the day tired but still wanting to achieve great things.

Come about eleven a.m. I was crashing hard. So, I moved to sit in the sunshine on the floor, because there was no way I was sitting outside with that cold wind going on. I chilled. I lamented the fact that I had been acting like a hyper magpie looking for shiny. I had not typed up much of The Bloodied Briar at all.

So, I tried to read and kept magpie-ing it back to my phone to check social media which I didn’t need to check. Eventually I gave in and coffee was made. At last success. I managed to get back on the computer and finished typing Briar’s story up. 5274 was the final word count for part 4. Seriously, so many words. And I cried again typing it up. There is one scene that just breaks me.

Then I celebrated by doing the good Mama stuff with K. He’s got his first gymnastics competition tomorrow, already so proud of him. Oh, and I might have slipped and purchased some more crafting things while I was out. Vintage style washi tape…I couldn’t resist.

I will tell you one thing, I just have no zen at the moment for bad drivers and there seems to be so many of them. Cheeky people to downright dangerous. I even had a cop doing dumb shit today, not illegal just cheeky to the point of rudeness. Why? To get two cars further along….and then I ended up in front of him anyway so what did his lane changing get him? Insert curse words here. If I could blow out a birthday cake candle right now I’d probably wish for a month of jerk free driving. I don’t mind being a Wiccad Witch but these people are going to make me go Wicked Witch on their asses. Is there a hex to make a bad driver fail their next warrant of fitness?

Right, mixed day. I hope I sleep tonight between lack of sleep and the wonders of womanhood, I might not be a stellar example of faebulousness tomorrow if I don’t get a nice restful sleep. Yes, restful, without seventeen action movie worthy dreams that drain energy like a vampire drains blood.

I wanted to edit Briar tonight but I’ve admitted that I’m going to do a terrible job if I try to. So, I’m starting to Santa Clarita Diet. Yay Drew and Timothy. I’m not sure what to expect because of different things I’ve heard but I’m hoping to relate to Drew, I love her forever and from an article I read, her transformation in this, and her one in her real life is very me at the moment. So, fingers crossed I love it.

Until next time,

Be stellar. Be faebulous. Be Wiccad. And don’t eat anyone.

Day Seven

So, day 6 we took off from writing. It was a busy busy day. The kiddo graduated another level at swimming and is now pre-competition level. Then had had his first gymnastics competition after 3 weeks at that level and he came away with two first places. To stay we were surprised and happy is an understatement. When they read out his name the first time I almost cried. I was so proud of him.
It did make me think, how often I make myself proud like that. You know, we don’t actually always take a lot of pride in the things we are achieving. Sure, I get happy I achieved them and I get relieved things are done. But I don’t always pat myself on the back and tell myself I’m proud of me.
I should do that more and so should you!
Yesterday was a day of finding my happy place, I was an emotional stress bunny for a fair bit of it, which translated today into a case of ‘dun wanna’. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to edit Briar’s story. I just wanted to do nothing.
But I pushed myself and guess what. I got the edits finished on The Bloodied Briar and I got part 4 out. Final word count 5362 words. I was thrilled. I am eager to get to work on her next part which means reading back about 2600 posts on her Tumblr…and wow. Tumblr did not want me to. So, I’m doing some things to get all her words out of Tumblr to read easier and in the right order and not throw my computer into conniptions.
I am also thinking about the fact that my Muse has her fingers in about five different stories right now and it’s stressing me out. I want to give everything the right amount of time. I am trying to keep five glowing magical story orbs in the air at once and it ain’t effing happening. Not with all the other real life glowing magical orbs I need to keep juggling.
I am stressing myself out and it means that the muse ends up hiding. So, I need to focus. And I need to focus on Jaidee if I’m going to rewrite these parts of the story so completely and still get the book out before I turn fifty. (Yeah, I know, that’s still quite a while away but you get the point.)
Guess who needs to focus and not stress. Guess who needs to work out what mood the muse in music wise and get to writing.
I can do it all though, I’ve done it all before. I’ve found the willpower to stay focused on one story. It’s hard. (Especially as the City of the Wiccad gals want some attention, Tienai wants attention, Juniper wants attention, Briar wants attention and as of last night Peggy freaking Carter wants my attention. #teampeggycarterdeservedbetter #andimgoingtogiveittoher)
Where was I? Oh yes, the that’s what she said joke. It’s hard! So much about achieving my dreams is hard. A lot of it isn’t fun times and candy canes. Even the writing can sometimes be less than enchanting. BUT. I cannot have it all fun games and happy times, dreams don’t work that way. Goals don’t work that way. Good things take time, and even though great things happen all at once, they don’t freaking happen if you’re not putting in the work. Life is pain and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
Tonight, I might make some notes but I am thinking that being a Sunday night there should be X-Files while snuggled in bed with the heater on and an early night. I hear early nights are great and the old body really loves them. We’ll see how it goes.
Until next time. Same bard time. Same bard channel.
Be stellar. Be faebulous. Be Wiccad. I love you.

 

Waiting for a Friend – A poem

I wrote this a few weeks ago but it seemed fitting to share it again. Some people touch our lives and they never know it. Some people are important and loved and we never tell them. So here is a mission for today. Tell someone they matter to you. Show someone that you are their friend. Pick a bunch of people and tell them you’re so glad they’re here.

Waiting for a Friend

I see her sitting on the bench
She holds a book in her hand but her eyes are on the path
She’s waiting for a friend
She’s there again. Alone on the bench
Her phone in her hand as she pretends her eyes are not on the path
She’s waiting for a friend
Days go by and people walk by
She’s still waiting for a friend
Smiles are exchanged. Hands move in greeting.
But she’s still sitting there alone
Waiting for a friend
A new hat. A new hair do. A pretty new scarf
The leaves redden and fall
She’s still on the bench pretending her eyes are not on the world
Waiting for a friend
Dogs bark and earn fusses
Smiles are exchanged. A half wave in farewell
She remains there alone
Waiting for a friend
Everyone knows her. Everyone sees her
Maybe they like her
But you could not tell as she sits there alone
Waiting for a friend
Maybe I should do something but I’m too scared to move
From my spot
On my bench
All alone
Waiting for a friend.

Way of the Wiccad

Day 1

Wiccad isn’t about having phenomenal cosmic powers. That kind of thing is for the books and movies (oh, they will come). Wiccad is about embracing your destiny. Wiccad is about embracing the faebulous person you were born to be. It is about cultivating your strengths and making yourself a force for good, a force for change – not necessarily for the whole world but for your whole world.
We are born with this light inside of us so that we can burn bright and light our life, our world. Our little kingdom. Whether that kingdom is you, the cat and two friends who stop by with unicorn themed drinks, or maybe the kingdom is you, a partner, kids, extended family, colleagues, committees, sports teams and more. Or maybe your kingdom is just you and a stuffed bear called Deano.
Whatever the kingdom is, you can light it up.
This is what being Wiccad is all about. Shining bright. Feeling warm and happy. Feeling light. Feeling like the best version of you that you could ever want to be.
And you know what?
It’s hard.
It’s really freaking hard.
From day dot we have people, situations and society trying to diminish our light, trying to steal our light, or just using so much of our light that there is very little left to light our own kingdom. We are often not encouraged to follow our gifts and do what makes us happy, what makes us the best person we can be for everyone but most importantly for ourselves.
Many of us are lost, miserable, hurt, crying, reaching out…
I see it every day.
I lived it.
I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t the best me I could be. And I admit, I had all this amazing stuff in my life, amazing people and family and love, but my light was still flickering and occasionally threatening to go out completely. I was not, no, I’m still not the Wiccad Woman I want to be. I am not the best version of myself. I am not who I want to be.
And there is a lot I can do to change it, and that is my path to being Wiccad. A path that is different for everyone. I would love to help everyone find their path to Wiccadness and to being the best version of themselves that they want to be. But first, it starts with me.
So here we are – The Way of the Wiccad Day 1.
So, what has Day 1 looked like? Well, it started with having a small pity party for myself over the way someone was acting with me and the way they made me feel. I got reminded “You never have to interact on other people’s terms.”
In other words, I don’t have to let them dictate our interactions, especially if what they are doing makes my light flicker. I can set boundaries and I can interact on my terms. I felt better after realising that.
Day 1 looked like…cold. Well, it didn’t look cold so much as feel it. It was the coldest morning I can recall of the year and getting out of bed took some effort. The cold sat in the garage and had a little chilly party. This might not have made any difference to me except I had told myself that today was the day I got back on the treadmill. My exercise has been lacking. Last week I got back into some dancing and using the swiss ball. This week I wanted to get back into more exercise. A HUGE part of becoming the best version of me is to take back my body. To be fit and happy. To be able to run around with K. To be happy with how my clothes sit and how I look. So, Day 1 looked like me wavering about getting back on the treadmill because the garage was effing cold.
GUESS WHAT!
I got back on the treadmill, and though I am nowhere near what I used to be able to do on it, I got on it. I kept moving until I was hot and sweaty. I gave myself a time goal and I hit it! (And I remembered to cool down afterwards so my legs are less inclined to scream sweet murder at me tomorrow).
Day 1 was becoming a success.
Day 1 was plotting on Faeted Tales because a change in the mythology of my worlds means I had to scrap most of a whole part of the story and restart. YAY. (This is what happens when you write things seven years ago and keep evolving the mythos…but it does mean that what I am creating is freaking faebulous!)
Day 1 then turned to me. To The Princess Bard and the brand that it is. The Princess Bard is me, but she’s also a commodity that must be treated as such. Treated as a business that requires effort and investment. Which then turned to who I want to be in the world. And I want to be me. I want to share my story and my path as much as I want to share the crafty pretties I make and the wonderful words I create.
So, The Princess Bard needs to live the Way of the Wiccad each day and I love and miss regular blogging on a more personal nature. So, I’m going to do this. Still not 100% sure how to do it with social media, do I just devote it to Facebook? To WordPress? Twitter isn’t quite so good for the big wordy posts, but I can easily put a link up there. So, what I’m thinking is that Facebook, you’re going to get my daily (or close to daily) posting. And WordPress, you’ll get a weekly update.
And you’re all going to join me as I follow this path and live the Way of the Wiccad. It’s a journey of self-discovery. Becoming the best version of me that I can be. Heart, Soul, Mind and Body. You’ll hear about the things I’m doing, the things I’m stopping and everything that I’m changing. And you can come with me. If you’ve had a good day, tell me. If you’ve had a shit day, well tell me that too and I will guarantee a hug sent your way.
We will be stellar. We will be faebulous. We will be Wiccad. Our light will shine, and you know what, we will be happy. And as I am learning. That’s so freaking important.

Juggling in a Crown

So, last night this lucky little Princess Bard got to attend Lisa O’Neill‘s little event at The Gatsby Room at the Art Deco Masonic Centre.

Lovely glass of Pinot Gris and lovely art deco windows to want at home.

I was absolutely lucky to be there as Two Lippy Ladies (a shop full of divine gorgeousness that I require) had a little contest and guess who won two tickets and a signed copy of Lisa’s book. This gal.

Now, honestly I didn’t know what to expect but I thought it would be fun and I should get something out of it. But let me tell you after I got out, it felt like it had been one of those fates in motion moments and I was meant to be there. It was so much what I needed to hear. Most of you will know that things haven’t been the best lately. PCOS can be a real moo-cow, sleep deprivation does not do nice things to the mind or the soul. I have had some moments of total lowness. I have been climbing back out of it, refocusing myself and starting to achieve things again. I knew I still had a long way to go. I just haven’t really known how to get there.

Lisa helped. Oh, how she helped. Her talk was hilarious. Absolutely laugh out loud funny and damn, if a good laugh isn’t sometimes exactly what you need. She was also completely insightful on many aspects of life. From making yourself a priority, to the people in your life who contribute vs contaminate.

It is important that you work out who is contaminating your life and who is contributing to it. People who are contributing will add value: they will improve your life, lift your energy and make you feel better.

She spoke about all the balls we are constantly trying to juggle. I have a lot of balls I am juggling. Though, in Princess Bard fashion it seems less fitting to call them balls. I’m working on what they are instead. Maybe magical glowing orbs? Jaidee likes that. Briar thinks they should be jewel-encrusted daggers that are on fire, honestly, some days it does feel like that is an accurate description.

Lisa talked about so much that I needed to hear, some things I didn’t necessarily want to hear either. So today I am starting reading the book, well, technically I started on the book at 6:27 this morning. (Was it the full moon last night because sleep and me were not friends, I felt like the energizer after 42 cups of coffee – I could see through space and time and find all the answers to life, the universe, and everything. Yet I woke up full of get up and go rather than in Zombie Princess mode like normal.) So, yes, book today and more looking at my life. And I am seriously thinking about taking her Big Love 6-week online course. Just need to wrangle up the funds (So if you could head over and buy a book on Amazon to help me, I would love you so much.) It is something I’m working on, finding Big Love for myself. Or, in my world, becoming Wiccad Within. I can help people until the cows come home to find that light inside themselves but I admit to not being so great at it myself.

And I am so done with that.

I am done with letting the world dictate how bright I burn, I am going to shine so brightly that I light up my kingdom. And I know that is something that only I can achieve.

So here is to the Fates, Two Lippy Ladies and Lisa O’Neill for bringing me just what I needed. And here is to the happiness that is coming, the success, and a bright shining Princess Bard with her magical glowing orbs all being juggled while wearing her crown.

 

Be faebulous. Be stellar. Be Wiccad. I love you.