Monthly Archives: December 2012

An ever-fixed mark

Yesterday this picture was posted up on Facebook (there was no credit on it so if you know who this is by and have a link to the original work please let me know)

It reminded me of a piece I had written back in 2011 that I am pretty sure never saw the light of day, it was based off a very vivid dream I had. So with it back in my mind I managed to locate it in the mess that is my writing folder and thought I would share. I hope you enjoy this tale of angels and the power of true love.

An Ever-Fixed Mark

“Hey Acacia, over here.” Mary waved me over to the table where she and her husband Christian were sitting. “Thought you were going to be late and miss it all.” She smiled and pushed over a glass of the house wine finger trailing through the condensation that had formed from sitting in the warm room waiting for my arrival.

“Me too.” I hung my jacket over the chair sitting down after I removed Mary’s handbag from it. “Traffic was ridiculous, and the lights were short phasing again.” I looked around the dark little bar. It looked like every seat was taken ready for the show except mine. It was hardly surprising though. WIL, Writers in Life, was holding its annual fundraising event.  They organised writers, famous and local, to perform their work. We were in for readings, short plays, and singing. I was there to see Neil Gaiman who would be reading a new piece, The Basilisk in the Basement. Neil was up last as the big name of the evening. I wished I had been selected this year and not last year to perform so I’d get to meet him backstage.

The night seemed to fly by and we were up to the second to last performer of the night and I was on to my third wine. I was getting excited to hear Neil read, the man was always so amazing to hear live.

A young man took to the stage, guitar in hand. I wasn’t really paying attention but as he sat down lit up by the stage lights I glanced over and could not look away. I felt something constrict inside me. It sounds impossible and clichéd but I fell in love in a single instant with a complete stranger. He wasn’t very tall sitting there with his dark hair falling over his forehead, his eyes twinkling in the light and sneakers on beneath his suit. But my eyes drank in everything about him as my stomach turned somersaults.

He began to play. The melody was haunting and his words of love and hope and promise seemed for me, I knew it an illusion of the dark, the audience in shadow and the stage and man all lit up but it seemed his eyes held mine for the entire song. By the end as the harmony of the guitar and his voice faded I felt like I was buzzing and my heart had left my chest to live somehow in both my stomach and in my throat.

He left the stage and the night’s MC returned asking everyone to give it up for Michael Gabriel. The applause was thunderous and I clapped on auto pilot, and then again once Neil was announced and came to the stage.

Neil’s new tale was great but I was distracted and barely heard the story I had been so excited about. Once Neil finished he sat down at the table next to the stage ready to sign books and assorted paraphernalia. A queue formed instantly and I seemed the only one not rushing over to get my book signed even though that was what I had planned. I headed instead for the other side of the stage where I could see Michael Gabriel putting his guitar away. He looked up as I approached and became flustered, or maybe that was just my imagination. He picked up the now locked guitar case as I approached him and rested it between us like a barrier.

“Hi, my name’s Acacia.” I said offering my hand which he ignored.

“Michael.” He replied.

“I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your performance.”

“Thanks.” He replied spending more time looking at the guitar case than me. He was the king of the one word reply it seemed and it was frustrating.

“I was wondering…”

“I’ve got to go.” He cut me off before I even finished my query, picked up the guitar case, a large notebook and pushed past me sending me stumbling back.

“Wow he’s rude.” Mary said moving over to me, helping me regain my footing. I didn’t reply to her just watched him cross to the stairs leading up to the street. He stopped at the bottom and looked back at me. I could have sworn that he looked sad, regretful even but he shook his head and mounted the stairs two at a time and vanished from sight. I was confused at his rudeness but I was more confused by the way he had made me feel. I could have gone after him but one dismissal and rejection was more than my ego needed in a single night.

Days, weeks and months moved on as they so often did and life was normal from one day to the next. The only thing different was how distracted I was in the quiet moments by memories of that man and his song.  It had been nearly three months since I had seen him and I still could not stop thinking about him.

I sat on my bed, the curtains open and the room lit by the full moon outside, just like the night when he had played. I was curled up around my pillow with a notepad sketching the view from the window…badly sketching the view from my window, when I was startled by a knock at the door. No one usually visited me at home unannounced and definitely not this late at night. I set the drawing aside and pulled my silk robe around me, tying it in place before I walked to the door and looked through the peephole. My heart just about stopped to see the object of my thoughts on the other side of the door. I fumbled the lock in my hurry to get the door open.

“Michael?” I spoke his name as if we were familiar with each other and he was simply returning after an absence. “What are you…”

As before he didn’t let me finish my query, he simply stepped into my apartment and swung the door shut behind him. He stepped into me his hand moving to my chin, tilting my head up he kissed me. His kiss turned every nerve in my body onto high and turned my legs to jelly. He swept me up into his arms not breaking the kiss as he carried me into my bedroom.

I barely slept for three days as we discovered each other mentally, spiritually, emotionally and of course physically. Then on the third day he dropped the bombshell. He had to leave for work, for three months give or take and he would have no ability to communicate with me during that time. The moment he was free he would return to me but again it would be for only three days before work would take him away again. It was an insane thing to agree to but I had no hesitation at all when I told him I would wait for him.

I didn’t want him to go and I missed him fiercely the whole time he was gone. When he returned it was amazing and each time he went and returned we crammed all our love into those three days and each time he left it got harder to let him go, my life became consumed by a shadow waiting for my three days in the light.

He has only been gone for four weeks this time. The moon is full and high again. I am lost and empty without him, this time is the worst. Somehow I can barely seem to live without him. No one else understands and they think I am weak to lose myself, my life to another. But when he is not here with me I no longer feel right. All I do is think about him and want to be with him, none of them can understand.

The night was a little cool standing on the balcony looking out at the city that didn’t miss Michael the way I did. I looked up at the moon, pen and journal in hand, I could only imagine the same moon shone down on Michael wherever he was in the world. I wondered if he looked up at it and thought of me as much as I thought of him.

As I had done as a child I talked to the face in the moon, back then I had believed it was some fairy queen or Goddess that lived there and listened to me. Now I talked to it for someone to talk to, the bright moon could understand, perhaps, better than a friend. The journal slid from my hands and I wrapped my hands around the balcony railing leaning out as I looked up.

“There is love and there is love.” I said. “There is the love that is destined and rare, the love that Shakespeare and Tennyson glimpsed but most in a thousand lives will never witness or experience.” My fingers dug into the railing and a sad sigh shook my body. “But I have and I’ve found it and like some fairy tale or Greek myth I get it so rarely and I don’t know if I’ll ever have it again. I can’t live like this, it’s tearing me apart. I love him and I can’t live thinking and worrying about him, I can’t live without him here. I live for my time with him and I would give anything to just be with him. Wake to his face everyday not live apart ninety-nine percent of the time. I would do anything, sacrifice anything that is mine to give for his love, to be his love.”


A loud booming voice rang out. I looked around confused. There was the sound of gunfire nearby and I saw the stray bullet in the instant my life was taken.


Michael appeared as her body crumpled catching her easily in his arms. He gently placed her down on the balcony tears falling down his cheeks and a thousand questions in his mind that were only quieted by the loss that flooded him, almost crippling him in that moment.

If anyone had seen him he would have seemed as any grieving man as he leant forward and kissed her still warm lips. They would have missed seeing the shining blue aura that clung to him and the wings that spread as he lifted his head and howled out into the night at the moon; a normal mortal watching the scene would have missed the man and woman as they appeared and stood behind him shoulder to shoulder, bathed in silver and gold light.

But Michael did not miss them, he stood and turned to them. When he spoke his voice shook.

“Will I see her again?”

“Do you wish to see her again?” The man asked.

“I love her with every aspect of my heart, my being. It is foolish of you to ask that.” Michael’s anger was rising to the surface above his grief.

“We warned you of the danger of loving a mortal woman, of inserting yourself into her life as you did. If you had simply watched and not played her the song in your heart this would have been avoided.”

“I loved her, I could not stay away.” Michael growled, guilt lacing his anger from the truth of their words. If he had not performed, if he had not sung to her, needed her to know, needed her to love him back this would have all been avoided. But he would not have had the days and night of love they had shared and they had been the brightest moments of his existence.

“What would you give my son to see her again?” The woman asked.

“All that I am, all that I possess, my gift, my task, my power. For even a moment in her arms again I would sacrifice everything. I would give up it all for her to return to me even for just a moment.”

“We cannot give you that moment.” The man spoke and Michael looked away, tears hazing his sight.

“We can only give you forever.” The woman smiled and stepped apart from the man. Between the man and woman stood Acacia resplendent in a soft rose light, her wings unfolding behind her. She smiled at Michael, her tears matching his. The woman took Michael’s right hand as the man took Acacia’s. They placed them against each other’s covering them with their own.

“What love has joined, let none tear asunder.” The man intoned.

Michael’s eyes never left Acacia’s. He simply replied, “Thank you,” as the man and woman faded from the moment.

The two stood staring at each other, no more secrets, no more separations.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Michael pulled her in against him and kissed her with the passion and purity that one can only find in tales of true love. As they kissed the blue and rose glow that encompassed them mingled creating a rich violet. The light grew as they faded, soon there was only the light and then that too was gone.


2012 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Good morrow from 2013

2012 was an amazing year, I had my high points and my low ones, but that will always happen. Sitting here at the beginning of 2013 I cannot even think of what the bad stuff in the year was but I can think of the good and I think that is a mind-set I’d like to carry on throughout this new year.
It feels like 2013 will be a good one, that life as I know it has ended, my own personal apocalypse. I have big plans for 2013, for myself and for those I love. It will see me getting novels published and purchased, it will see me getting as fit as k needs me to be to chase him down the Napier waterfront on his scooter. It will see me meeting loved ones I’ve meet on the amazing spiderwebs I’m mean interwebs, it will see me forging stronger friendships on and off the screen, existing ones and perhaps even a few new. It will see hundreds of thousands of words being written and new voices invading my brain and adding to the crazy.
I should perhaps dial back and add a little extra to the published bit to add that it will see Sam and I published. (And thanks autocorrect for trying to make that sank and I punished o.O)
2012 saw a lot of changes for me, a lot of development and even some firsts, 2013 promises to be even more amazing.
I wish for you all everything I wish for myself, good times, the fulfilment of dreams and oodles of love.
Know that I love you all and your support, friendship and love over 2012 has meant so much to me. I truly have been blessed.
Now group hug before I start sobbing all over you all and making a right spectacle of myself.

2012 is over and…

Morgan le Fay and a new deviant

So after a little prodding from a friend and finding some beautiful artwork I decided to join deviantArt mainly to keep track of all the inspiration art on there that I have fallen in love with. (Turned out half of my favourite art that I’ve seen on Tumblr and alike were just three artists…whoddathunkit…)

Now the problem will be, I am not sure I will have much time to put stuff up on it, nor to spend time reading others writing and looking at beauty and making comment or critique. I’m not sure if this is going to make me an annoying dA person but such is life, really I made the account for me after all.

There is so much amazing art on there of many different mediums but it is the visual art that I am simply blown away by. I have very poor ability in that area and am always envious of those who can but more than that I am inspired by them. I see pieces and they capture my own creations, my characters, scenes from my book, without the artist even knowing such things exist within me or on the page. They inspire me to write.

So with that in mind I might just start a perhaps weekly event of posting up a piece of art that I have found that has spoken to me, sometimes I might say why, sometimes I might just let the piece speak for itself.

Today we start with Morgan le Fay by Marina

Now I found this the other day and posted it up on Facebook. (Sam must have loved it because two minutes later it was her avi hehe.) Now I have read a lot of stories about Morgan le Fay, and I always felt some connection to her, come to think of it I’ve felt something toward most of the women in the Arthurian stories, generally that they have been made out to be far more evil/bad/slutty than they must have been. (I won’t get into why women are cast in such lights in the stories, that can be another post another day.) But I loved Morgan…Morgana and I will be bringing you a tale of the soul that she became in the world of Shadows of Avalon, I will also be bringing you the tales of who she truly was to Arthur in that world and time and though I shan’t give anything away this picture captures more of the Morgana that I shall write than perhaps any other picture I have stumbled across before.

It also makes me want to be blonde again…

So if you are on dA feel free to have a look at my page, feel free to leave me any comments, it’s always nice to get those. And if you are on there feel free to let me know your link so I can have a look. Thus far I haven’t even had a chance to look at my friends on there and leave comments but I promise I will get to you all. Just be patient. (Ironic, I know, given that the faeries forgot to bless me with patience.)

Christmas, Goals and beta readers wanted

I hope everyone had a happy Christmas. I was a very spoiled little Princess. And yes I got two of the books I was dying to get for Christmas so I had a very big happy. One of which was James Rollins’ “Bloodline” which I devoured in less than 24 hours. I am a huge fan of James Rollins Sigma series and have been hanging out for Bloodline since it was released. I was told not to buy it because my birthday was coming up, then it was Christmas coming up and finally I got a copy. If you have not read the Sigma series I highly recommend them. For those who have read them…OH MY GOD ABOUT SEICHAN!?!? And *le swoon* for Tucker and Kane. They better become series regulars.

I also was lucky enough to win a copy of a dear friends book. Ke-Yana Drake writer of the Time Speaker Universe ran a competition for Christmas for page likes and I was one of the lucky winners. (If you haven’t liked her page on Facebook go do so.)(One assumes you have all already liked mine…if not there is a link right over there next to this blog post so go do it…go ahead, make my day.)

So now that Christmas is over I am looking to get focused again. I have the next few days off which I hadn’t been expecting so I plan to make the most of that time. I have a lot of writing I want to catch up on as the muse has been stressed and tired and not talking overly much, I want to reread over Nyssa’s Tale, perhaps start looking for some beta readers for it, read over more of Sam and I’s writing as we start to get a few things closer to the completion of the first draft (cannot begin to say how excited I am to be getting closer to sharing some of those stories with you all, they are really really awesome…and I’m only a little bias on the subject.)

So yes, time to refocus on a few of my goals now that Christmas is dusted for another year, 2013 is going to be one heck of a year for a lot of us. I can’t wait to tackle it and make my dreams come true.

Do you have any goals you are setting for the new year? I’d love to hear them.

And if you’d like to be a beta reader, well I’d love to know.