Today is day one

I’ve been quiet on here, I’ve been quiet in a few places. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ve been having a few issues because of it and because of a few other things. But today is day one again, time to slip those toxic habits away, focus back on me like I need to, get back into that exercise and eating well again. My birthday is in less than a month now and I have goals for where I want to be by then.

So here in the spirit of positive affirmation and loving oneself….have a couple of motivational images.

 

Happy Hatchday Kaeden

5 years ago I was induced after my pregnancy went two weeks late. I wasn’t allowed to continue on under my own steam for safety reasons. I started the procedure at 8am and sometime in the afternoon things started to get going. (Don’t ask me times, a lot of that day and night is a blur). My midwife was sick but tried her best along with my husband and my mother to get me through it. For some reason due to an old hip injury the epidural didn’t work properly and my off the chart contractions were felt. 8am the next morning with both me and the unborn baby in distress I was wheeled in for an emergency caesarean. Kaeden was born at 8:58 17/7/08. (Which was always entertaining since  my birthdate is 17/8). Now 5 years on he’s an amazing little boy who is part Captain America and part Loki and dresses up as Batman.

I couldn’t have asked for a better son, we have our moments of course, all parents and children do, but I love him and want the best for him. He’s an amazing child, clever, witty and with a smile that can slay all who come across him.

So Happy Hatchday, Kaeden. Mummy loves you so very very much.

Don’t give up

I found this on tumblr and wanted to share it. I’ve been asked before why I would talk about my past, talk about my depression, my self harm, all that kind of thing, I’ve had people tell me I just do it for the attention and to have people say nice things to me. While having nice things said to me is, well, nice, that’s not why I do it. I do it because, at the end of the day, if I can make one person out there feel like they aren’t alone, feel like someone understands, that maybe it can get better, then I have done something good.

I’m not sure that I am going to have anyone say “Because of you I didn’t give up” but I hope that maybe I helped someone out there, because as they say, it does get better. And I just want to say, that if any of my followers here, twitter, facebook, tumblr, or anywhere, are ever feeling alone or needing someone to talk to, if you’re ever going through something and you need an ear, I am here. I am always here, even if we have never talked and even if we never talk after, I am here.

A gif paints a thousand words

Random I know, but it’s true. How many times have we as writers or roleplayers seen a picture, a gif set, or some kind of graphic and had a whole story just explode into our heads. I had it happen years back with my favouritist Fae character Jaidee. I saw a gif set and it inspired a minor character, really just a side story to transition some changes for Jaidee, and some how from that a complete story arc has formed and other characters have sprung forth, and all from a couple of pictures.

It happened again today, a crackship gif on tumblr and I’m inspired again for a story. Granted I hardly need new stories when I have so many others to work on, but at this point I just want the muse happy and to be getting inspired again. I haven’t written much on Babypire and that is bugging me.

Anway, I’ve said a little without saying much at all. Spoilers sweetie. Now I should go and finish getting ready for work. (For reasons unknown I just about said ready for school?!?!?!)

Though I would much rather just stay at home and do this…